Semalam di dalam perjalanan pulang ke Kuala Lumpur, aku diganggu satu perkara. Kata-kata yang Puan Yeya lemparkan pada aku.
"Moon, ce ko fikir ek... Kalau ko diberi pilihan untuk pilih dengan sape ko nak kawen, sape ko pilih?
Tanpa berfikir seraya aku menjawab "_____" (garisan itu simbolik nama beliau sebab aku tekan button garisan tu mengikut kiraan ejaan nama beliau)
"Waw!!," Puan Yeya berkata "not even a slightest pause".
"Hmmm!! Hmmm!!," kataku dengan senyuman umpama sedang terawangan2an.
Memang aku menginginkan dia... atau mungkin kerana aku sedang mabuk gula kerana kauorang tahu la kandungan gula dan kalori Coffee Bean coffees bukan sesudu dua kan.
Aku pejamkan mata mengenangkan insiden selepas pulang dari berjimba dengan Puan Yeya. We fight.... a lot.... a lot more than ever. But somehow, that fighting continued for about 5 hours di luar sedar dan berterusan sedikit di SMS. Now, what did that mean? Could it mean that we missed each other so much that we'll do anything to keep the conversation going even that had to mean that we had to keep on fighting atau masing-masing cuba menegakkan benang yang basah?
And then, I thougt of the times when he had this special nickname he used to call me.. and arrived a text.. "I miss you call me "___""
And I thought.. "I miss you call me "______" too".
And suddenly, I felt like I was in love again. Perasaan itu sama seperti saying "I love you" for the first time and having to hear that special someone says "I love you, too".
Tapi itu semua sekejap saje. I was foolish. I let my guard down. Benteng ego yang aku pertahankan selama 2 minggu, gedebuk musnah cem tu je. Ahhhh bodohnya rasa. Wait.. Koreksyen.. It wasnt ego. It was wisdom. I had given it a great thought that if this is what's going to happen sepanjang tempoh relationship ni, better it ends cem tu je.
Its kind of hard to retain in a relationship bila satu pihak asyik cemburu tak menempat dan satu pihak lagi asyik dok syak yang bukan2. So, being a wise person myself and penat nak layan kerenah2 belia ni, I thought of letting go would be the best solution for this. Long distance relationship.. never works.. (for me)
Today, Puan Yeya changed her profile picture kepada satu quote yang hebat "What if you were made for me?"
It got me thinking again.. Haish.. Otak aku ni keje berfikir je.. Dok dendiam mcm orang dungu tak blh ke?
Really, what if he was made for me and I was made for him. And then senses came back into my mind while writing this sentence..
If we were made for each other, we'll find our ways back to be together..
*i love you*
*i love you*
Pernahkah kita bersedia untuk menerima hasil-hasil daripada setiap tindakan kita? Atau kita main redah je? and deal with the risks later?
Aku redha/pasrah *Ombak Rindu got me confused between those two. Nonetheless.. it was a great journey getting to know him. I dont know if that is love or something that they called infatuation. Whatever it is called, it feels great (for a while) before it starts killing you inside..
Aku berdiri semalam di tapak pasar malam, melihat setiap wajah2 yang berselerakan dia situ. Masing2 ada cerita masing2 dan, even cerita kau tamat di chapter ini. Aku gembira mengetahui kau abadi di situ, di dalam chapter itu :)
May you get what u want and may you find the true-st love you are looking for.
